Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Tagged
While I was in blogging silence I got tagged by Puppy Potato, formerly known as Monkey Lady From Outer Space, a.k. a. Todd's daughter Kayleigh. (I wasn't trying to be a spoil sport, Kayleigh, honest!) Here's the deal with getting tagged.
Rules:
1. Link back to the person who tagged you (check)
2. Mention the rules on your blog (check)
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours (check, see below)
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them (not checked; my personal compromise on these types things is to answer when I get hit, but not pass it along.)
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged. (and see # 4)
So, 6 unspectacular quirks of mine
1. I switch between patient and impatient at the drop of a hat. Waiting in line is a great example as there are times I am content to stand there and people watch and there are times when I am mentally executing the people ahead for not being ready when their turn comes.
2. I daydream whenever I walk somewhere.
3. My attention span has grown shorter the older I have gotten.
4. I fidget whenever my mind starts to wander. And I fidget a lot, which makes sense given what I was saying above... wait..., what?
5. My shyness on meeting new people often comes across as arrogance. But its not, really. I don't get arrogant until I know you very, very well.
6. I sing cheesy songs when I get really happy. This usually happens around Trish because she makes me really happy. So that usually means singing cheesy love songs. And it is very fun to do this in public because it embarrasses her and makes her very happy at the same time. Double bonus!
Rules:
1. Link back to the person who tagged you (check)
2. Mention the rules on your blog (check)
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours (check, see below)
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them (not checked; my personal compromise on these types things is to answer when I get hit, but not pass it along.)
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged. (and see # 4)
So, 6 unspectacular quirks of mine
1. I switch between patient and impatient at the drop of a hat. Waiting in line is a great example as there are times I am content to stand there and people watch and there are times when I am mentally executing the people ahead for not being ready when their turn comes.
2. I daydream whenever I walk somewhere.
3. My attention span has grown shorter the older I have gotten.
4. I fidget whenever my mind starts to wander. And I fidget a lot, which makes sense given what I was saying above... wait..., what?
5. My shyness on meeting new people often comes across as arrogance. But its not, really. I don't get arrogant until I know you very, very well.
6. I sing cheesy songs when I get really happy. This usually happens around Trish because she makes me really happy. So that usually means singing cheesy love songs. And it is very fun to do this in public because it embarrasses her and makes her very happy at the same time. Double bonus!
"Long time quiet"
I know it has been a long time since the last post, so this is going to be a long 'un to get you up to speed.
So I mentioned that we did not reach an agreement with the owners of the house we wanted to buy. Coming right after finding out Trish was not pregnant again was tough. Tougher than it seemed at first. And both of us were fighting a certain listlessness.
For me it was centered around the idea that I was going nowhere, fast. In 2006 I set aside acting to take a full time job and give us some more stability while we tried to have a baby. Sure I started producing at that point to keep creative, but acting was/is a much more visceral creative experience and, honestly, more fun. Over two years later, and here I am with no child, working in a job I do not particularly like, production work not moving forward at all, and having given up something I loved doing. I mean I get that being a parent involves sacrifice, so it was something I was willing to do, but to have nothing to show for it? It pissed me off.
Unfortunately, all of this was not crystal clear in the moment. So I was pretty mopey and blue and not much fun to hang around and the problems simmered in the background. It started to come to a boil last Saturday. And that caused its own set of problems.
Over the course of our struggle to conceive Trish and I have worked very hard to keep our relationship strong and not let the frustrations and hurt from the infertility spill between her and me. Well, Saturday we did not do so well there. Without going into details, each time one of us has had a major flare up around infertility issues, the other has been able to put aside their own hurt and anger and offer some support and comfort. Saturday was the first time we both needed that at the same time and could not help the other, which turned into some serious hurt feelings which turned into a pretty lengthy fight. Yes, we worked through it. (Unfortunately, not before an emotional Loyd family dinner that night, which I will get into in a minute.) And yes, we are doing better now.
What comes next we do not know. We had decided to take this month off of active attempts (charting, temperatures, timing, etc.), figuring the stress of the house hunt would probably get in the way anyway. Whether we take a longer time off, proceed to IUI, keep trying the old fashioned way or something else, we just don't know yet. We are trying not to place pressure on the decision and working on ways to prevent a repeat of Saturday. It's just gets tough some times when you have this kind of desire, but we will figure it out.
As I mentioned the festivities on Saturday were complicated by a trip down to Auburn for a farewell dinner for Trish's brother, Chris. Chris joined the National Guard last year and is now shipping out to Iraq, so it was our last chance to see him for more than a year. We joined Chris and his wife and son, Trish's parents, Chris's biological dad and his wife and their son and daughter. Trish's other brother Robert and his family could not make it and their absence was hard. The evening went fine but there was a strong undercurrent of emotion (more than the lingering anger between Trish and me) as everyone was trying not to think about worst case scenarios.
Chris was in the Army before I met the Loyds. Since I have known him, though, he has kicked around from job to job and never seemed very satisfied. Joining the Guard has changed that. He is happier and more confident that I have ever known him. The military is definitely his element and I wish him all the best in it. First things first, though; he has to come home safe.
The good news on that front is that while he shipped out last Wednesday, he will not arrive in Iraq for about 3 months. First, he will be in Wisconsin for 52 days as his unit is brought up to full strength. Then there will be 2-4 weeks in Kuwait for additional training and acclimatization. At that point, he will be sent to Camp Anaconda at Balad Air Base, outside of Baghdad. He will be escorting convoys.
Hopefully, by the time he arrives, recent security gains will solidify. Especially, if Bush setting a timetable for withdrawal helps reduce some of the anti-American sentiment. Keep your head down and your eyes peeled, brother. And come home safe.
Then there was house hunting stuff. We had looked at quite a few more places after ending the offer and almost every place gave use a resounding feeling of "meh." Both of us were getting very tired of looking (and I was very tired of people telling me how exciting it must be, because it was not exciting at all; it was tedious and exhausting and disappointing) and starting to think that this special feeling others have talked about when they walked into the right place was not going to happen for us. We were wrong.
As soon as we walked into this house, we were both giddy. Second and third looks only reinforced it. It is farther away from the center of town than the other, but that is the only drawback in comparison. (And this place will be close to Gary which is a big plus.) DJ, our realtor whom I would recommend to anyone in the Seattle area in a heartbeat, is presenting our offer this evening. After the last round, we know not to take anything for granted, but we have hopes, high hopes, high apple pie in the sky... aahhh, sorry about that. Cheesy songs just fall out of me when I get giddy over something.
In the meantime, I have asked a friend to be a producing partner for me with The Ties like I am for Todd with Duo: A Geek Tragedy. She is thinking it over, but I am half expecting her to say no, just because of all of the stuff going on in her life right now. (Anyone who wants to help produce, please contact the author as soon as possible with resume and three references.) Once Todd is back from vacation (and it is a little surprising how much we missed Todd and Raechelle this last week), he and I will be meeting with contacts of his to see if we can't push Duo a little farther down the financing road. And he, Trish and I will work more on Ordinary Angels, too. And the writing is fun.
And who knows, maybe securing this house will be the first domino that starts a chain reaction. If not... Well, if not, I don't know. I guess I deal with those disappointments if they come to pass. In the meantime, I have hopes. You might even say high hopes, but that would lead us back someplace cheesy, so let's not say that.
So I mentioned that we did not reach an agreement with the owners of the house we wanted to buy. Coming right after finding out Trish was not pregnant again was tough. Tougher than it seemed at first. And both of us were fighting a certain listlessness.
For me it was centered around the idea that I was going nowhere, fast. In 2006 I set aside acting to take a full time job and give us some more stability while we tried to have a baby. Sure I started producing at that point to keep creative, but acting was/is a much more visceral creative experience and, honestly, more fun. Over two years later, and here I am with no child, working in a job I do not particularly like, production work not moving forward at all, and having given up something I loved doing. I mean I get that being a parent involves sacrifice, so it was something I was willing to do, but to have nothing to show for it? It pissed me off.
Unfortunately, all of this was not crystal clear in the moment. So I was pretty mopey and blue and not much fun to hang around and the problems simmered in the background. It started to come to a boil last Saturday. And that caused its own set of problems.
Over the course of our struggle to conceive Trish and I have worked very hard to keep our relationship strong and not let the frustrations and hurt from the infertility spill between her and me. Well, Saturday we did not do so well there. Without going into details, each time one of us has had a major flare up around infertility issues, the other has been able to put aside their own hurt and anger and offer some support and comfort. Saturday was the first time we both needed that at the same time and could not help the other, which turned into some serious hurt feelings which turned into a pretty lengthy fight. Yes, we worked through it. (Unfortunately, not before an emotional Loyd family dinner that night, which I will get into in a minute.) And yes, we are doing better now.
What comes next we do not know. We had decided to take this month off of active attempts (charting, temperatures, timing, etc.), figuring the stress of the house hunt would probably get in the way anyway. Whether we take a longer time off, proceed to IUI, keep trying the old fashioned way or something else, we just don't know yet. We are trying not to place pressure on the decision and working on ways to prevent a repeat of Saturday. It's just gets tough some times when you have this kind of desire, but we will figure it out.
As I mentioned the festivities on Saturday were complicated by a trip down to Auburn for a farewell dinner for Trish's brother, Chris. Chris joined the National Guard last year and is now shipping out to Iraq, so it was our last chance to see him for more than a year. We joined Chris and his wife and son, Trish's parents, Chris's biological dad and his wife and their son and daughter. Trish's other brother Robert and his family could not make it and their absence was hard. The evening went fine but there was a strong undercurrent of emotion (more than the lingering anger between Trish and me) as everyone was trying not to think about worst case scenarios.
Chris was in the Army before I met the Loyds. Since I have known him, though, he has kicked around from job to job and never seemed very satisfied. Joining the Guard has changed that. He is happier and more confident that I have ever known him. The military is definitely his element and I wish him all the best in it. First things first, though; he has to come home safe.
The good news on that front is that while he shipped out last Wednesday, he will not arrive in Iraq for about 3 months. First, he will be in Wisconsin for 52 days as his unit is brought up to full strength. Then there will be 2-4 weeks in Kuwait for additional training and acclimatization. At that point, he will be sent to Camp Anaconda at Balad Air Base, outside of Baghdad. He will be escorting convoys.
Hopefully, by the time he arrives, recent security gains will solidify. Especially, if Bush setting a timetable for withdrawal helps reduce some of the anti-American sentiment. Keep your head down and your eyes peeled, brother. And come home safe.
Then there was house hunting stuff. We had looked at quite a few more places after ending the offer and almost every place gave use a resounding feeling of "meh." Both of us were getting very tired of looking (and I was very tired of people telling me how exciting it must be, because it was not exciting at all; it was tedious and exhausting and disappointing) and starting to think that this special feeling others have talked about when they walked into the right place was not going to happen for us. We were wrong.
As soon as we walked into this house, we were both giddy. Second and third looks only reinforced it. It is farther away from the center of town than the other, but that is the only drawback in comparison. (And this place will be close to Gary which is a big plus.) DJ, our realtor whom I would recommend to anyone in the Seattle area in a heartbeat, is presenting our offer this evening. After the last round, we know not to take anything for granted, but we have hopes, high hopes, high apple pie in the sky... aahhh, sorry about that. Cheesy songs just fall out of me when I get giddy over something.
In the meantime, I have asked a friend to be a producing partner for me with The Ties like I am for Todd with Duo: A Geek Tragedy. She is thinking it over, but I am half expecting her to say no, just because of all of the stuff going on in her life right now. (Anyone who wants to help produce, please contact the author as soon as possible with resume and three references.) Once Todd is back from vacation (and it is a little surprising how much we missed Todd and Raechelle this last week), he and I will be meeting with contacts of his to see if we can't push Duo a little farther down the financing road. And he, Trish and I will work more on Ordinary Angels, too. And the writing is fun.
And who knows, maybe securing this house will be the first domino that starts a chain reaction. If not... Well, if not, I don't know. I guess I deal with those disappointments if they come to pass. In the meantime, I have hopes. You might even say high hopes, but that would lead us back someplace cheesy, so let's not say that.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I'm writing again
And, man, does it feel good. I am working on fleshing out the outline for the screenplay The Ties. The outline is as far as it will go as the actual screenplay will be improvised. Also, I am back at the novel that I started when I left Adobe and I got sidetracked when I ended up in acting school and doing all these production projects (the current working title is The Other End of the Telescope). Trying to take the pressure off on these but, especially in the case of The Ties, that is difficult to say the least.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Happy Birthday, Jim
Happy belated Birthday to brother-in-law Jim. (Still not up on the in-laws birthdays. This is a new thing for me; Tracy was the only in-law for almost 20 years and now look at us.) With these birthday posts I have been telling stories that stretch back years and define our friendships. I have very few stories to tell about Jim. (Well, there was my brothers and sister being incensed and outraged that I asked Jim to the Springsteen concert instead of them; it got to the point where my brothers tried to quiz him to see if he was enough of a fan.) But then, for a guy who makes my sister happy and helped bring a child as cute as Leo into the world, I probably don't need stories. Happy Birthday, "little" brother.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sport
I have not been very interested in this year's Olympics, what with my feelings about the current administration taking away a lot of pride I have in my country. But I had forgotten that every Olympics has some moment that rises above current problems. We caught the tail end of the men's 4x100 swimming relay and holy crap what a race. Sport has the same power art does and last night was powerful.
(I was going to embed a video of the event, but all of the videos are being removed from YouTube as soon as they go up, so the closest I can come is this. Thanks, NBC for making it easy.)
(I was going to embed a video of the event, but all of the videos are being removed from YouTube as soon as they go up, so the closest I can come is this. Thanks, NBC for making it easy.)
Saturday, August 9, 2008
More hunting
Well, the offer on the house has officially ended. The owners were not willing to come down to where we saw the value. So, next week we are back to hunting.
We are disappointed but after the initial bout of angst, which was about more than the house, we really did reach a point where we were good to walk away. Not thrilled about looking again, of course, but so it goes.
We are disappointed but after the initial bout of angst, which was about more than the house, we really did reach a point where we were good to walk away. Not thrilled about looking again, of course, but so it goes.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Limbo
On Monday, we find out again that Trish is not pregnant. Which is tough, as always. Yesterday we put an offer on the house, but it looks like we are not going to reach an agreement (nothing certain yet, but it looks that way). And throughout the week I have been unable to get in contact with anyone to whom I have sent the Duo pitch to get a status update.
So all three major areas of my life - family, home, career - the answer is not yet; wait some more. Which is fine, except that it's not. It's really not. How? When? And most especially why? I know there will be no answers to these and that makes it all the worse.
And as Trish and I were sitting in the car in front of Todd's house last night, on a conference call with Tom and Kathryn to talk negotiating strategy, all of the waiting and the stress and the tension came crashing in and for a moment I wanted to give it all up - baby making, house hunting, producing. Screw it all.
Fortunately, we went inside and started working on the Ordinary Angels series with Todd. Todd is very good for both of us in those moments, probably because he has been through so much himself. His calm support and, more importantly, the burst of creativity were just what I needed. (And not to brag, or nothin', but man, this show is going to be sweeeeet!) The irony of working on a show where a major tension is no one getting to see "The Plan" was pretty thick, of course, but very helpful. We were even able to brainstorm new avenues for the Duo pitch.
So with a new found confidence we were able to decide on a plan for the house buying and find an emotional place where we are fine with walking away and looking at even more homes. As for baby stuff, well that is still pretty damn hard. In fact, it gets harder every month. And I don't have an answer for that, not yet. But I don't want to give up and I do still believe we will have a child. For now I guess I will keep trying to work my way out of limbo.
So all three major areas of my life - family, home, career - the answer is not yet; wait some more. Which is fine, except that it's not. It's really not. How? When? And most especially why? I know there will be no answers to these and that makes it all the worse.
And as Trish and I were sitting in the car in front of Todd's house last night, on a conference call with Tom and Kathryn to talk negotiating strategy, all of the waiting and the stress and the tension came crashing in and for a moment I wanted to give it all up - baby making, house hunting, producing. Screw it all.
Fortunately, we went inside and started working on the Ordinary Angels series with Todd. Todd is very good for both of us in those moments, probably because he has been through so much himself. His calm support and, more importantly, the burst of creativity were just what I needed. (And not to brag, or nothin', but man, this show is going to be sweeeeet!) The irony of working on a show where a major tension is no one getting to see "The Plan" was pretty thick, of course, but very helpful. We were even able to brainstorm new avenues for the Duo pitch.
So with a new found confidence we were able to decide on a plan for the house buying and find an emotional place where we are fine with walking away and looking at even more homes. As for baby stuff, well that is still pretty damn hard. In fact, it gets harder every month. And I don't have an answer for that, not yet. But I don't want to give up and I do still believe we will have a child. For now I guess I will keep trying to work my way out of limbo.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Forged Letter
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Offer
We have found a home we like and are preparing for the really fun part of putting an offer together. And by fun I mean nerve wracking. Wish us luck!
UPDATE: And the offer is in. Our agent should be meeting with the sellers as this goes up. And now I have one more thing where I am waiting for the phone to ring. At least this response should be faster than the Duo financiers.
UPDATE: And the offer is in. Our agent should be meeting with the sellers as this goes up. And now I have one more thing where I am waiting for the phone to ring. At least this response should be faster than the Duo financiers.
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