Complaining

I would be well past 21 days since the last wrist switch if I had not taken off the bracelet a couple of weeks ago. I have not written, or talked, about this much at all because this one is pretty personal. The short version is I took it off the day Trish and I found out yet again that she was not pregnant.

There might be a longer post about this in a few days. Basically Trish and I have been trying for 2 years and the continual cycle of caution, optimism, excitement and disappointment is really starting to wear me down. Wear both of us down, obviously, but then Trish has expressed her feelings better than I ever could.

For me, the disappointment is starting to seep into every aspect of my life and I am finding little enthusiasm for my job, the projects I am producing or any creative activity (one reason blogging has been so sparse recently). I find myself holding back from friends and family because I do not want to talk about it with them (for any number of reasons).

The good news is that Trish and I are staying connected and keeping our relationship strong. We are taking steps to help us through the emotional stuff as well as the physical. (Of course that has been a source of frustration too, as one ten week group counseling program only allowed husbands in four of the sessions... cause ya know husbands are only 40% invested in the process.)

So anyway, I am complaining again. Not going to pick up the bracelet again for a while. But I would recommend it to anyone interested. At the very least it helped become very aware of the multitude of times I complain and avoid taking any action. That alone was worth it.