The roller coaster

Updated below.

We have found a rhythm in the roller coaster ride each month as we try to conceive. There is the excitement of trying, the hope and fear as we wait for the results, the disappointment and grief when the results are negative and then we find some new reason to believe it will happen and we get excited all over again.

Since we had the IUI performed, the rhythm is the same only more so. Every dip and rise has been heightened. We examine every little change in Trish's mood and physical sensation for some kind of sign one way or the other. And now that we are coming up on the results days, we have taken it to the nth degree. The worst for me is the beeping of her thermometer every morning. It seems to go on forever and ever until a result flashes. This morning when her temperature was still high, we both exploded into laughter as we have one more day to hope. I don't even want to think about tomorrow's temperature taking.

To the readers who are of the praying variety, rather than praying for us to have a child (which has already been decided this month one way or the other), pray for the two of us not to get too consumed by this roller coaster ride, to keep our heads about us and live each day with hope and faith and love no matter what the results are.

Now if you will excuse, I have to fasten my seat belt. This ride is getting bumpy.

UPDATE: And the disappointment and the grief are intensified as well. Lovely.