Christmas Time Was Here...

...along with much happiness and cheer.

I was worried going into Christmas. The snow had gotten pretty bad; we were pretty well stuck at home for a few days.








We put the best face on it, but I was worried the Portland clan would not make it. But they did, braving snow and ice and giving us the first full Heinrich family Christmas in many years.




There was good food and drink (and I mean really good food), poker and live music, flurries of wrapping paper, a thousand little chocolates and good times in great company.







Plus, it was nephew Leo's first Christmas. He is almost 7 months old, so it clearly meant more to us than to him.... but still he made out like the proverbial bandit with Christmas loot.




And then today, Trish and I went and got our Christmas gift to each other. Her name is Gracie and she is a 2 year old coon hound mix.






And she is making herself at home already. I hope all of you had as much fun the past few days as we did.

A new Christmas play

So the snow in Seattle has gotten me down, mostly because I am worried it will prevent my whole family from gathering for Christmas. My friend Jenni saw that I was down and wrote a Christmas play to cheer me up. Actually, I think she wrote the play because her already thin hold on sanity was deteriorating even faster due to cabin fever, as you can tell by her note to me....

Right now it is called A Christmas Pageant, but I am thinking of renaming it How the Heinrich Stole Christmas (from the pagans). I sounded like you were a little depressed, so I wrote a play just for you. On a completely unrelated note I have spent much too much time in my house by myself since all this f-ing snow, and may be going crazy, like as in literally mentally ill. Enjoy!

Seattlites do not cope with extended snow well and my friends are more than a little odd. So keep that in mind as you read Jenni's Christmas play.

A Christmas Pageant

By Jenni Brown

As adapted from The History Channel’s: A History of Christmas (Check local listings)

It is a cold winter’s eve somewhere in Europe 437AD. Bishop Murray is warming himself by the fire with a bottle of Rum, enter Father Heinrich.

FATHER HEINRICH: Bishop Murray.

BISHOP MURRAY: What is it Heinrich?

H: It seems we have a problem sir…

M: Yes, yes, what is it, quickly man.

H: Well sir it seems that, while the population is very excited about the whole Jesus thing…

M: They better be, we certainly burnt enough of ‘em at the stake to get the rest of fired up … heh … get it … Fired Up?

H: Yes sir… that’s a good one.

M: Oh come on now Heinrich, you’re not still sore about your mother are you? Heinrich, Heimlich, they sound very similar.

H: Honest mistake, sir.

M: And she did kind of look like a witch.

H: Yes sir, you have pointed that out before.

M: So what’s the problem Heimlich?

H: Heinrich.

M: That’s what I said.

H: Right. The problem is that the people don’t want to give up their heretical pagan winter festival.

M: Well we could…

H: Maybe we should lay off the fire for a while, sir.

M: Fine, the people did get awfully whiny when we accidentally set the city on fire.

H: They certainly did.

M: All right, no fire… how about…

H: Stoning is also enduring a wave of unpopularity with the people, sir. The other priests and I were talking about it, we thought maybe it would be easier to just create a Christian holiday to take the place of the pagan one. Perhaps a celebration of the birth of the Christ child would be appropriate.

M: That’s rubbish man, everyone knows that the Christ child was born in the spring, the shepherds out at night with their flocks, the census, both historical data and common sense say that these are springtime endeavors, no one will buy it, use your head, Heinrich!

H: Actually sir, market research shows that no one outside of church scholars has any idea when Jesus was born, and most of them honestly don’t care as long as you don’t set them on fire.

M: And what would we call this new holiday?

H: I was thinking of calling it Christ’s mass, we can incorporate a holy mass on…

M: All right you can have your Christmas, or whatever, but we still get to have the Mistletoe, right, cause this celibacy shit is killing me.

H: Yes sir.

M: So, we get to have all the hedonistic, decadent, self-indulgent pleasures of the existing holiday, slap an extra mass in there, and call it good clean Christian fun.

H: Yes sir, that’s the plan.

M: I don’t say this often enough, but Heinrich, I love you.

H: Yes sir, well … I am going to leave now…you have a good Christ’s mass.

M: You too Heinrich, you too.

Yes, well..... I hope it brought you as much holiday cheer as it did me! Merry Christmas!

A measure of peace

I am starting to find an acceptance of whatever may come in our struggles to conceive. I have tried to write about the moment of understanding and acceptance but it really was an intuitive thing and every time I try to write about it, it comes across disjointed and odd and a little haughty. So, I am afraid you are getting the answer only without me showing the work. I hope that doesn't take away from the final grade.

It boils down to gratitude for all that I have and will have. Yes, there are things in my life that I want to change. Yes, there are things in the world as a whole that I want to change. No I do not have control over those things. So I simply do my best to change what I can change, accept that some things I can not change, grieve if it becomes clear I must give up something I love, and always, always proceed from a place of gratitude.

Of course, the roller coaster analogy is still in effect. There is no guarantee this acceptance will last. But for now, I will ride it out.

Happy Days

Congratulations Raechelle & Todd. We couldn't be happier for you... unless this means Todd productivity on our film projects is going to plummet.

More Trish Bloggings

So you probably know that Trish has been writing a blog detailing various aspects of our struggle with infertility. For those of you who have wanted to see her writing on something a little more light hearted, now you can.

She is writing for the web site For Single Women in the Entertainment section. She is one of several writers so not all of those articles are hers, but some examples are here and here. It is an ongoing gig, go ahead and bookmark the site and check it out.

The roller coaster

Updated below.

We have found a rhythm in the roller coaster ride each month as we try to conceive. There is the excitement of trying, the hope and fear as we wait for the results, the disappointment and grief when the results are negative and then we find some new reason to believe it will happen and we get excited all over again.

Since we had the IUI performed, the rhythm is the same only more so. Every dip and rise has been heightened. We examine every little change in Trish's mood and physical sensation for some kind of sign one way or the other. And now that we are coming up on the results days, we have taken it to the nth degree. The worst for me is the beeping of her thermometer every morning. It seems to go on forever and ever until a result flashes. This morning when her temperature was still high, we both exploded into laughter as we have one more day to hope. I don't even want to think about tomorrow's temperature taking.

To the readers who are of the praying variety, rather than praying for us to have a child (which has already been decided this month one way or the other), pray for the two of us not to get too consumed by this roller coaster ride, to keep our heads about us and live each day with hope and faith and love no matter what the results are.

Now if you will excuse, I have to fasten my seat belt. This ride is getting bumpy.

UPDATE: And the disappointment and the grief are intensified as well. Lovely.