Shutting down

So I have not been posting much recently. And I have not been doing much creatively recently. Took me a while to figure it out, but it comes down to shutting down. Creativity generates strong emotions. I have not been wanting to feel strong emotions recently. The infertility stuff is still bringing me down and I have not wanted to feel the full weight of it. So the defense mechanism kicks in, feelings get walled off and creativity goes right out the window. I am getting a better handle on it. And there is reason for hope on the infertility front. So hopefully, I am going to be revving up again, because I am getting kind of bored without any creative outlet.