Chipping Away At Faith

I have a had a number of responses from different friends to my struggle with being results oriented, all of them thought provoking and all of them strongly encouraging. There is one response in particular, from my big brother Mike, though that really has me chewing over it. And there is a lot in his response, so I am going to break it up into different parts. This one tackles faith.

Mike wrote:

I'm not one of those who automatically believes that God has a "better" plan for you than you do. But I do believe he has a plan. And since he's bigger and tougher than you are maybe it's time to hear him out for a while. His plans may still suck ... but what choice do we have? You noted that when the results you want don't come through your faith in God gets chipped away. But, is that really faith? "If you come through for me I'll believe in you." ??? I ask this rhetorically as someone who has NEVER had their faith truly challenged. (And considering what a coward I am I pray it never will be).

Isn't faith in God another way of saying, "Lord I trust in you that you have my best interests at heart" and then truly believing it? And that's it. No strings attached?

I do believe that faith has to be more than "I get rewarded so I believe in you." Absolutely. In fact, I do not see faith as belief in God per se, but belief that God is loving and has our best interests at heart. So, yes, I agree. But when I do not get what I want, my belief that God truly has my best interests at heart gets damaged. Is that a particularly strong faith? Absolutely not (see Seed, Rocky Soil). Which is one reason why I feel like I need to re-frame the issue away from the results oriented mind set.

Shortly after my nephew Leo was born (who is still adorable, by the by), we had a family barbecue. Now being a new born, Leo wanted to sleep shortly after eating. And being parents, Katie and Jim wanted him to stay awake longer so that all three could sleep through the night. And being a new born, Leo was not happy about that particular plan and made it pretty well known. And being parents, Jim and Katie set about doing what was best anyway, even if they could not explain it to Leo.

Is it fairly obvious that I am Leo in this analogy? Squalling to the world because I cannot get what I want, all the while being held by a loving parent who really does have my best interest at heart, but cannot explain why this is the way it is. I think that is what Mike is telling me. And it makes sense.

Again, we butt up against the how question, which Mike talked about in the e-mail as well and I will get to that in a later post. The short version of where I am on that issue right now comes back to acting analogies again. Sometimes you just have to get out of your own way and let the scene happen.

There is one point Mike made that I disagree with strongly. In no way, shape or form is my brother a coward and I will have words with anyone - anyone - who says otherwise.