Happy Days

Congratulations Raechelle & Todd. We couldn't be happier for you... unless this means Todd productivity on our film projects is going to plummet.

More Trish Bloggings

So you probably know that Trish has been writing a blog detailing various aspects of our struggle with infertility. For those of you who have wanted to see her writing on something a little more light hearted, now you can.

She is writing for the web site For Single Women in the Entertainment section. She is one of several writers so not all of those articles are hers, but some examples are here and here. It is an ongoing gig, go ahead and bookmark the site and check it out.

The roller coaster

Updated below.

We have found a rhythm in the roller coaster ride each month as we try to conceive. There is the excitement of trying, the hope and fear as we wait for the results, the disappointment and grief when the results are negative and then we find some new reason to believe it will happen and we get excited all over again.

Since we had the IUI performed, the rhythm is the same only more so. Every dip and rise has been heightened. We examine every little change in Trish's mood and physical sensation for some kind of sign one way or the other. And now that we are coming up on the results days, we have taken it to the nth degree. The worst for me is the beeping of her thermometer every morning. It seems to go on forever and ever until a result flashes. This morning when her temperature was still high, we both exploded into laughter as we have one more day to hope. I don't even want to think about tomorrow's temperature taking.

To the readers who are of the praying variety, rather than praying for us to have a child (which has already been decided this month one way or the other), pray for the two of us not to get too consumed by this roller coaster ride, to keep our heads about us and live each day with hope and faith and love no matter what the results are.

Now if you will excuse, I have to fasten my seat belt. This ride is getting bumpy.

UPDATE: And the disappointment and the grief are intensified as well. Lovely.

Little help?

Any Seattle area readers have an extra office I can use? We are going to be shooting a PSA for a contest sponsored by Fred Hutch for their End Colon Cancer Now program and I need a location. It takes place in a doctor's office so an exam room would be great, but an office with a desk would work well, too. If you know of anything that might work, please add a comment and I will get you more details and we can see if it will work. Thanks!

UPDATE: We got it. Thanks!

Travel Pics

In the process of unpacking in the new home, I came across a bunch of old unlabeled floppy discs. I had to bring them into work in order to see what was on them. Turns out they are a whole mess of digital photos from my trip to New Zealand in 2000. The digital camera I was using was old even for the time, so the resolution on these is not very good, plus I am not a very good photographer, but here are some samples.

I still have to check my journal on some of these because I do not remember all the details, like which range this is.


This was on an overnight boat trip. I do not remember the name of the bay but it was on the South Island.


Likewise, I do not remember the name of the glacier but I do remember that I got stuck at one point.


Lucky shot.


The last day of a three day hike. Day 2 was 6 + hours, more than 5 of them above the tree line in a pouring rain.


The northern most tip of the country.


In case you get lost.


Yes, this was an actual street sign.

Shutting down

So I have not been posting much recently. And I have not been doing much creatively recently. Took me a while to figure it out, but it comes down to shutting down. Creativity generates strong emotions. I have not been wanting to feel strong emotions recently. The infertility stuff is still bringing me down and I have not wanted to feel the full weight of it. So the defense mechanism kicks in, feelings get walled off and creativity goes right out the window. I am getting a better handle on it. And there is reason for hope on the infertility front. So hopefully, I am going to be revving up again, because I am getting kind of bored without any creative outlet.

4 years ago

4 years ago today an amazing woman did an amazing thing: she married me. Amidst the whirl and the confusion of the day; amidst the press of family and old friends and people I had never laid eyes on before that day; amidst all the emotions that seemed like they would overwhelm me at any moment, one thought kept running over and over and over again. "I am so blessed."


Over the course of the past 4 years, amidst the mundane and the struggles and the conflicts and the heartaches, that thought will reappear at least once every day. She will laugh at some corny one liner I toss off, or she will reach out and take my hand, or she will be laying into me during a fight, or she will be crying softly into my shoulder, or she will just smile at me, and the thought will hit me as strong as it did 4 years ago. "I am so blessed."



And every now and then, less often then I used to, I will wonder that this amazing woman did this amazing thing. I will shake my head at her foolish choice to spend the rest of her life with me, to raise a family with me, to love me. And the thought is there again. "I am so blessed."

Happy Anniversary, Tiger. I love you.